"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

Today is my oldest child's 7th birthday. The length of the past seven years is so relative. For her it's a lifetime. For me it feels like it has passed by so quickly. Then again so much about me has also changed dramatically. The change really happened in just an instant though. The moment I first looked in Bela's half-closed eyes my whole world changed. I remember it being the first time I looked directly into a baby's eyes and saw the spirit within rather than just an adorable cuddly little form.

On one of my first days back to work after maternity leave, after I had already been up for hours nursing my baby, dressing her, diapering her, changing her again, pumping, cuddling her, packing her bag for the day, and then taking her to the babysitter, who had also been up for hours as well, caring for her children and preparing for the ones left in her charge, I looked around at all the people and thought about how much energy went in to making sure they grew up. Granted, not everyone gets the kind of love and attention each soul deserves but I knew for sure at that moment that a tremendous amount of work went into their survival. While we each may carry some scars and burdens from our past, we also carry the effort of a mother or mother-figures who made sure we somehow made it. It is impossible to repay the effort one selflessly offers to another but we can offer gratitude by living well and paying it forward. I'm thinking now of the quote by J.R.R. Toldien, "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."