As I type I'm thinking back to a paper Starbuck's teacup I once held with a quote from the angst-filled pop singer Alanis Morisette talking about how anger was the most creative force she ever felt. Having grown up in a home where anger was no stranger, I knew that I didn't want to continue to be angry but I also really didn't know the appropriate way to act when I felt anger and other strong emotions. When I read that quote something in me clicked. I began to see that I could take this dark stuff and make something out of it. Anger is an emotion to let you know that something, somewhere is off. Sometimes it's in you, sometimes it's in something around you, but it is definitely a signal for change!
For me one of the best gifts of yoga (I know I say this way to often but I can't help it!), was to practice "acting" rather than reacting - to learn to use what I had in a productive manner rather than in an aggressive or destructive manner. So here is the practice.... you come up against an uncomfortable sensation, i.e. an intense stretch, a challenging arm balance that you can't quite do that might make you feel a little frustration, memories of uncomfortable situations in your life, boredom, and more and you learn to turn in. You become quiet, you pay attention to yourself, you honor your feelings and you just breathe through it. You do what we call play your edge. You stay steady and respect your personal limitations and at the same time working to expand your capacity. The amazing thing that happens when you face those darker forces and just hold steady is that they very quickly begin to dissolve. They don't feel as powerful. You start to see through them and you begin to feel more powerful, more balanced, and more capable.
John Friend who created the Anusara Yoga Method often talks about "Divine Hide and Seek." The idea is that Grace or Divine Consciousness hides herself in all things so that we may each take pleasure in finding her over and over again. As a student and teacher, we are each encouraged to look for the good in all things. Looking at life this way really does begin to feel like a game. After practicing for awhile it gets very easy and fulfilling to find the good in the daily life. It is a little more of a challenge and perhaps even more of a gift to find the good in the darker side of life.
The following is a short list of the potential and power of the more "negative" emotions of life that has developed for me from my yoga practice.
- Fear creates boundaries that limit our choices so that we can more greatly focus on certain areas. It also has the potential to keep us safe from uncomfortable situations.
- Anger is a signal that something needs to change. It has the potential to give you energy and courage to break out of your comfort zone and make something happen.
- Sadness softens us and calls us to connect with others. It helps us to both turn inward to make a deeper connection inside and creates for us a vulnerability that others notice and so it draws people closer to you.
- Pain combines the elements of fear, anger and pain. It limits you, signals that something needs to change, and encourages you to enlist the help of others to move past it.
Like all things, too much of one thing is rarely good. It is easy to get trapped in these powerful emotions. There are likely going to be points in our lives where we feel stuck but if we keep our hearts and our eyes open to the goodness and beauty that dwells within us and remember that there is the potential for growth in all things we can usually find our way out. And, if we can't do it on our own it's important to remember that there really is so much help if we simply ask.
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